That's Bruno Mars's song. I just wanted this blog to have a catchy title because it's all about marriage! Now obviously I don't know ANYTHING about marriage, since I am 17 and still in high school. But somewhere near the end of my freshman year I decided I was going to start writing letters to my husband. In all honestly, this idea was probably inspired by The Notebook, and how Noah wrote Allie 365 letters. It's kindof a ridiculous idea, but I personally feel like it is the sweetest thing ever :) I have three in the collection so far, and I pretty much just wanted to share some major things I've learned through the process.
The second letter I wrote to my husband was the product of a pretty big fight my parents had. Since it was their fight and I'm sure they don't want the whole world to know, I'm not going to share details. It turned into a family ordeal, though, and there were definitely tears shed. As I was reflecting over it that night in bed, my little girl fairytale fantasy fell apart. So I started a new letter and wrote this:
"I just wanted to share this because we have to realize our marriage isn't always going to be good and happy. There's going to be times that are really hard. There's going to be sin in the midst of it too. I know that sometimes we're going to cry, curse, and have hatred in our hearts towards one another. But who else would I want to do that with?"
Married people all over are reading this thinking "well DUH," but to a girl who has dreamt of her wedding since age 8, this was a huge realization. After the vows, the cake, and all the "fun" you can possibly have on your honeymoon, you have to go back to real life. And real life isn't always cuddling and kissing and whatever else girls day dream about. I especially like the part I wrote about sin. Both parties of a marriage are sinful people, and you have to deal with that together. Why don't artists ever write songs about THAT?
Another thing I have realized is that my idealized view of marriage is so completely selfish. I once had a small group leader that said "I wake up every day and think of ways to serve my husband." Marriage is not for anybody but God. People who go into it selfishly thinking their spouse is going to fulfill them or complete them are probably so dissatisfied. I mean, I wouldn't want to wake up everyday thinking "Oh my gosh. I have to fulfill my husband today." Talk about pressure.
So. Now you know all kinds of marital wisdom from a 17 year old who writes letters to a person she may or may not even know!
Katie
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Monday, December 5, 2011
Tell Me Once Again...
Tonight Andrew Peterson and several of his fellow musician friends performed at my church as part of their anual "Behold The Lamb of God" Christmas tour. Before they actually got into the 45 minute long continual Christmas set, they all shared two songs from their normal albums. One artist, Jason Gray, played a song called "Remind Me Who I Am." I have heard it a few times on the radio, but for some reason the truth of it did not sink in until tonight.
This school year has been... tolling. Besides the normal stress that comes with honors and AP classes, I have let myself make decisions that put me directly on the path of destruction. The consequences have been varying, but with the same underlying theme: hurt. Completely disregarding the Bible's wisdom about guarding your heart (Proverbs 4:23), I basically bound myself in rope and sat down on the train tracks. Needless to say, life has been depressing lately. Usually I think of myself as a very strong person, being able to deal with things on my own and overcome the greatest of obstacles. Recently, however, I have realized that I'm not strong at all. I wallow in the hurt, because it is easier to find than the joy. That's not strength.
Getting back to the song, the lyrics that really spoke to me tonight are as following:
When I lose my way and I forget my name (Beloved), remind me who I am.
In the mirror all I see is who I don't want to be, remind me who I am.
In the lonliest places when I can't remember what grace is...
Tell me once again, who I am to you.
Tell me lest I forget, who I am to you.
When Jason started singing that song tonight, I realized that it's okay to be down, and it's okay to have struggles- that's just life. When the insecurity and doubt creeps in, Christ reminds us that we are his BELOVED. There's a method to the madness. Whether it is a lesson learned, or a battle for his glory, the hurt is for a greater good (Romans 8:28). To me, there is joy in that knowledge. And already He's taught me about His sufficiency through all of this. He is everything that humanity cannot be for us. Whatever standards or expectations we have of people that they cannot meet (which is all of them- we're broken people), He will meet 1000 times over again. He is perfection. Praise Adonai.
This school year has been... tolling. Besides the normal stress that comes with honors and AP classes, I have let myself make decisions that put me directly on the path of destruction. The consequences have been varying, but with the same underlying theme: hurt. Completely disregarding the Bible's wisdom about guarding your heart (Proverbs 4:23), I basically bound myself in rope and sat down on the train tracks. Needless to say, life has been depressing lately. Usually I think of myself as a very strong person, being able to deal with things on my own and overcome the greatest of obstacles. Recently, however, I have realized that I'm not strong at all. I wallow in the hurt, because it is easier to find than the joy. That's not strength.
Getting back to the song, the lyrics that really spoke to me tonight are as following:
When I lose my way and I forget my name (Beloved), remind me who I am.
In the mirror all I see is who I don't want to be, remind me who I am.
In the lonliest places when I can't remember what grace is...
Tell me once again, who I am to you.
Tell me lest I forget, who I am to you.
When Jason started singing that song tonight, I realized that it's okay to be down, and it's okay to have struggles- that's just life. When the insecurity and doubt creeps in, Christ reminds us that we are his BELOVED. There's a method to the madness. Whether it is a lesson learned, or a battle for his glory, the hurt is for a greater good (Romans 8:28). To me, there is joy in that knowledge. And already He's taught me about His sufficiency through all of this. He is everything that humanity cannot be for us. Whatever standards or expectations we have of people that they cannot meet (which is all of them- we're broken people), He will meet 1000 times over again. He is perfection. Praise Adonai.
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